“Hey World, you boring old stick-in-the-muck! What’s with all the work and the rules and the wearing clothes all the time? You know what you need? Saxophone solos! Samples that may or may not be from the Sugarhill Gang! The EastEnders theme tune sung in the style of Boyz II Men! Feeling sexy yet? Yeah you are. Oh and look, now we’ve got some lounge jazz piano and we’re going to say the names of random musicians in a sultry voice. Johhhhhn Lennon. Thank you very much, our work here is done, we’ll meet you in the bedroom.”