Disc Jockey?

Confidence is a terrible thing. Don’t get me wrong, it has led to some positive things over time, but it is also responsible for some of the more atrocious occurrences in history.

Napoleon invading Russia? Icarus flying too close to the sun? All the X-Factors? But worst of all, indie-kids with a few singles under their belt charging an arm and a leg for a “DJ set”.

You’re not a DJ. Granted, you - the indie-band kid - have more of a music-orientated career than most, but that does not give you the right to flaunt yourself in every musical walk of life. Guitarist? DJ? Conductor?

Will.I.Am has just been booked to play Sankeys. Yes, that’s right. Will.I.Am, the fairly irritating self-assured Black Eyed Peas front-man, playing at, that’s right, Sankeys, a club just voted number one in the world by DJ Mag. There is something amiss.

Well, I guess it makes sense to book internationally-acclaimed DJs to play internationally-acclaimed clubs. But hang on, he’s not an internationally-acclaimed DJ. He’s a goon.

I have witnessed far too many of these faux DJ sets. Two fairly anonymous-looking hipsters purporting to be members of Los Campesinos! performed what can only be described as a trainwreck of a set a few months back in Cardiff. Some Alphabeat-ers re-enacted the scene a few weeks later, and I recall a Mystery Jets “set” that, though technically better, still sparked thoughts of “shouldn’t you be playing a guitar” and “you’re not meant to stop for applause after each song in a DJ set.”

I have never seen the Infadels DJ but I understand they do. However, their music is quite electronic as it is, and they did record and distribute a mix CD proving their ability. So fair play. I’d rather they stuck to the whole band gig but if they want to DJ, they can.

What they should not do is entice punters in with a big *insert band name* banner and then a tiny “DJ SET” caveat tucked away behind the ROAR logo.

These bands are famous and popular for being bands. They have fans of the music made by them and subsequently played live. Not for playing other people’s music under the guise of a DJ.

There should be sufficient musical integrity in these professionals that charging fans to go see the bassist – no offence to bassists but they’re rarely the charismatic member of the band – press play, stop, change record, play, stop, etc.

I’m not a DJ Nazi but I propose some sort of boycott of band DJ sets. It’s only a matter of time before we see “RADIOHEAD” in massive golden letters at the top of a poster with the tiny small print beneath: “May be in the venue having a beer, if they’ve got nothing better on that night. Maybe.”

Sadly, I don’t think a one-man boycott will stop this ever-growing trend, so I’m off to book Jeremy Paxman for a phat DJ set.